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Machine  : Rusty & Creaky
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Friday, March 17, 2017
Romance
Mustan Burmawalla, Abbas Burmawalla
Mustafa, Kiara Advani

It’s a shocker that director-duo Abbas-Mustan introduce Abbas’ son Mustafa in a tacky film with none of the style and sophistication of their past films like Race. You get a whiff of howscruffy it is right from the credit titles where a heart-like machine has electrical currents going around it in low-grade graphics. It opens too like we’re back in the 60s. The hero drives his car so fast that the heroine’s skirt flies up like Marilyn Monroe’s famous shot.That’s how they meet and soon there’s a clumsy blue screen shot of them driving together. When he beats her in an insipidly filmed car race, rich little Sarah Thapar inexplicably falls in love with an unknown Ransh.

 

Pitifully, Abbas-Mustan pack in every possible wannabe element that makes it increasingly discomforting.With selfie sticks, loud parties, annoying remixes,screechy and shabbily dressed friends who hang out aimlessly, every desperate attempt is made to look youthful. But it’s a strange campus where everybody’s interested only in romance and love locks with lovers’ names. Sarah’s the most beautiful girl every guy fancies and the only teacher around comes up with the most ‘original’ idea of Romeo & Juliet as their annual play.

 

Just before interval, Abbas-Mustan decide to turn it into a Baazigar. Unfortunately, newcomer Mustafa is no charismatic Shah Rukh Khan. With ascreenplay steeped in vapidity, when the suspense is finally revealed, there’s no sense of anticipation in the viewer.

 

With a marked suspension of logic, this is the kind of tiresome cinema where policemen in Georgia are buffoons, a rich girl parties forgetting that her father just died, nobody notices a massive and improper change in the dead man’s will and sloppilyexecuted murders are committed with impunity.

 

In this day of information overload, nobody does a background check before getting married, and the height of romance is the hero telling his girl that he’ll will spoil the lipstick on her lips but not the kajal in her eyes.

 

Mustafa as Ransh doesn’t win your heart and by prolonging the end with lengthy dialogues, Abbas-Mustan make sure you tire of him before you leave. Kiara Advani who resembles Esha Deol is a few notches better than her co-star.

 

For a film where the makers seem to have climbed into a time machine and gone back by several decades,Machine gets a 2* rating.

 

Reviewed by
Bharathi S Pradhan

Senior Journalist & Author
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